Hello, I am the internet, and I am a screenoholic. Yes, I love screen. Never is an ounce of work accomplished on the command line without being encapsulated in the warm embrace of my favorite stateful terminal session manager. So much so that I quickly found myself being annoyed of always having to find my screen and never remembering what I named it, if I named it at all. And even worse were the times where I would lose my terminal to find that I was abandoned by my digital soul mate by never calling them before I stared. Oh how the innocence of youth lost so many critical vim undo buffers and ssh connections. I mean seriously, how many times can a guy type `ssh` in a day before hanging his self. 12. It turns out that number is 12. The resolution to my laziness was something of a revolution when I realized all the work I always forgot to do and never wanted to forget again could be easily accomplished automatically, every time I logged in. All hail the .bashrc. In other words, you can harness the power of .bashrc by intelligently invoking screen when you log in as well as giving a few helper functions along the way. Here is what I mean.